Social media is not real. Maybe you’re strong enough to withstand seeing a constant barrage of perfection online, but I’m not. I live in a real world—one with problems, struggles, and unmet expectations. Sometimes, when scrolling through my feed, seeing too much of a fake world bothers me.

Are all these people perfect?

And truth be told, we all want to have the best life possible, don’t we? Who wouldn’t want perfect relationships, romantic love without end, a sailboat, incredible vacations, a beautiful wife greeting you with morning coffee, a husband with the perfect job, or kids with sports trophies in hand?

The question is, what happens to us when online viewing doesn’t match real life?

What if we don’t have the Instagram house, relationships, figure, or wallet?

Do all those things exist?

The social media reel drives us even further. We don’t treasure the aspects of life we already possess for what they are. Each day we have blessings in our life—good things, things we should be thankful for. But when we line them up against the measuring stick of social media, we feel they aren’t worthy of our appreciation or gratitude.

If we truly appreciated the good things in our lives for what they are, our back pockets would be full of memories and hearts would be swelling with glass bottle moments—that’s what I call the special things in life. I love glass bottle moments. When one happens, I smile, mention it to my wife so she can enjoy the moment with me, then tell her I’m putting it in my glass bottle.

My bottle is full of precious memories.

But how many times do we skip the glass bottle and run right to our phones? Especially if it is a moment that can gain us recognition, likes, or followers on the social scene?

Social media is not real, is it?

Yet we scroll. It is a driving force, a cycle that never ends. We see what we want to become, achieve, and aspire to—then get sad, thinking we can never reach these things. It bothers us. Even if we don’t admit it.

We long for something more.

I saw a quote by Kate Hewitt on Goodreads. She said, “What consumes your mind controls your life.” This is certainly the case for those caught in the social media trap.

Here is a secret to bail you out:

Change what your mind is focusing on.

I’ll admit it. I am not the perfect social image I see in others online. I have faults. I struggle to learn, grow, and mature into something who closer resembles what I want to be. I don’t have a sailboat. I cannot afford the vacation I want. There are days that I wish for more. I have a dad body now. I cannot wow my wife any longer by flexing my biceps (author smiles, as he never could). But ultimately, I’m slowly figuring out something more valuable.

Romans 8:38-39 ESV says this: For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I’m learning, day by day, that there is One who cares infinitely more for me than I do for myself.

I’m learning, day by day, that there are meaningful and real things all around me because of Him.

I’m learning, day by day, that the social media lie does nothing for me.

I’m learning, day by day, that I am a child of God—and that means more than a like on any post.

I know this is going to clash against every cultural norm we have accepted as truth, but I’m going to state a radical concept anyhow. I hope those who need it can soak it in and heal.

Being accepted, favored, liked, loved, saved by, adopted, and chosen by God is far better than a million followers on Instagram.

And despite how I lack the perfect social image, I’ll take what God thinks about me any day.

By Chuck Carr.